My 3 little angels

Life has been rough, and I mean very rough at times. Lots of crying, worrying, confusion, you name it, just down right tough. It is amazing how just one person can come into your life and change all of that crap and loneliness felt. That one person makes life worth living, brings you happiness, makes the sting of fear depart. I have three of these people in my life, my adorable nephews, Keaton, Andrew and Owen. I am eternally grateful for these little faces, these incredible Spirits I live among. They have gotten me through a lot of ugliness in my life, they make me laugh, they make me want to be better.

I am content just being with them and nobody else. They are judge-free, easy to love and quick to love in return. Perhaps it is the care-free lives they are currently living, or maybe they really are my guardian angels sent just for me. This is what I believe and will continue to feel. They are for me, to help me get back on track. Each of them has such a unique perspective. Keaton leads, Andrew for now follows and Owen is just beginning to find his place among these two giant brothers. To these three, I LOVE YOU. One day you will know just how much you have saved me.

Ava turns 3!

Back on March 13th, Ava turned 3! She is getting so big, and I just love her to death! She wanted "Bolt," the dog as her birthday theme, but perhaps the biggest hit was the cake my sister had made, it was a Hamster! I have never seen so many presents for one kid, she is spoiled, yet so worth it! It was a joy seeing her open presents and play with her friends. We love you Ava and thank you for being a unique part of our family!

Cade & Courtney's Wedding

Saturday was a very busy day for me. At 10:30 am, I went to the Boise Temple and waited for two of my best friends to get married. Followed my their luncheon at Johnny Carinos and the reception that night. After the reception we went downtown to eat at Old Chicago. What a great day, spent with amazing people.

Five For Fighting!

Last night I had the opportunity to see John Ondrasik, lead singer of the famous band, Five For Fighting perform at the Knitting Factory in Boise. I went with Heather and Kasha, we had so much fun. Heather was lucky enough to get us both FREE VIP tickets to the concert. From old people, mullets and kids that smell like farm animals, we laughed, sang and had a great time, thanks for the fun evening girls!

Camp Gold Christmas Party-

My dear friend Heather Hammond asked me to be a volunteer this year at the Camp Gold Christmas party. It was for kids with Cancer and their siblings. It was such a rewarding experience to share with these kids in their time of need. Jeff and I were over the 5-7 year old boys, we had the BEST group. Thanks to Cade, Keith, Elijah and Dilan for giving me a new perspective on life.

Broken Things to Mend.....

I have felt like this broken and beaten down man for so long. I never knew what it meant to allow myself the time and ability to deal with things past and enjoy things present in my life. My perspective has all of the sudden been changing, I am growing and becoming something beyond myself. A dear friend told me that "pain is A messenger", listen to your pain and hear what it is screaming to you, to your spirit. This is the time for me to listen and listen with both ears, to hear for the first time those things I must now heal. Recognizing pain is hard and uncomfortable, yet it is an essential part of our living, growing and developing! I am loving who I am and all that I am. Time heals and for that I am grateful. There are so many wonderful and dear people in my life, their lives and stories have brought so much peace and joy. Our ability and desire to change however, must come in our own time and way. If there is something in your life that is asking to be fixed, something just screaming to be mended, please do it now, it cannot wait! Each life is precious, unique and individual, this is the joy of the journey.

Life is changing, I am changing....

There is so much on my mind right now. So many things I want to say, need to say and wish I knew how to say. I have some big news to announce, but not yet. I need to make sure I am in a safe and comfortable place with myself before I share my story. It is very personal and life changing for me. For years now I have been developing myself and finding out for myself who "Justin" really is. The process has not been easy, yet it's my hope that my honesty and devotion to me and my life will help liberate someone else. All each of us want is to be completely and totally happy! This is what I want more than anything. Some BIG decisions are taking place right now and it is scary and lonely, but exhilarating all at once. I have so many supportive and genuine people in my life, too each of them I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love each of you individually, without you, my life would not be possible! To my family especially, you are everything to me. To my two sisters, and the support they offer me, I owe so much to each of you. My little angels, Keaton, Andrew, Owen and Ava who bring a smile to my face everytime I see them, there love and innocence are qualities I admire and cherish. Here is to honesty and being true to myself and making decisions that make me love life again.